Land of the Lost
Directed by Brad Silberling
Written by Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas based on the TV show by Sid Krofft and Marty Krofft
Universal, 2009

Forget what you know about the TV series, as if it mattered.  In the year’s most misleading marketing campaign, Land of the Lost is a Will Ferrell comedy that has been aimed at families most of the year.  Don’t be fooled: this movie isn’t for kids.  And it ain’t for adults, either.  It’s a horrible mismatch of stuff that might appeal to kids with an over-reaching attempt to satisfy adults: seriously, Will Ferrell says “Fuck you,” in this movie.  By the time it happens, you won’t be surprised since the movie has a bit of a foul mouth before then, but the way the movie has been presented for its release, I don’t think I could have been more offended than if Woody told Buzz Lightyear to go fuck himself in Toy Story.

That said, if they really wanted to make a movie that wasn’t really for kids in the first place, they could have just shot for an R-rating and more outrageous moments.  Instead, here’s a movie that’s stuck between trying to be a family comedy and then not, and it’s a horrible piece of trash filmmaking.  If you’re entertained by Ferrell dumping a jug of dino urine on his face, be my guest.  This movie is for you.

In the in-name-only adaptation of Sid and Marty Krofft’s Land of the Lost, Ferrell plays Dr. Rick Marshall, a scientist who is a laughingstock because he believes there’s something called “time warps” out there that will allow people to travel through time.  He is immediately banned to teach at some community college, but then he is met by Holly Cantrell (Anna Friel), who shows him proof that they may indeed exist through use of tachyons.  The two set out to find a source of these faster-than-light particles in a run-down amusement park ride run by Will Stanton (Danny McBride).  Soon, the water starts running rapidly and they are sucked into a vortex and find themselves in the prehistoric ages with dinosaurs and missing link humans.  One, Cha-Ka (Jorma Taccone) accompanies them wherever they go.

They run into these alien beings called Sleestak who want to rule the world, and there’s a bit of business with a T-Rex that has vengeful eyes for Marshall.  I was pretty exhausted by the time it got to the Sleestak and whatever that plot was about.  It doesn’t really matter because the movie is sloppy and unfunny from beginning to end.  I’ve seen a lot of bad Ferrell movies and have even given him his due on some that not everybody liked, but this is clearly worse than some of his lowest lows: Kicking and Screaming, Semi-Pro, and yes, Bewitched.  I like him but I’d like to see him range out past this egotistical buffoon role in which he is stuck.

Clearly one of the worst of the year.  If you had any idea of watching this, don’t.